


A Morning Kiss

by Bachhukali



Category: Jesus Christ Superstar - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual! Jesus, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Modern AU, Sex Worker! Judas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bachhukali/pseuds/Bachhukali
Summary: Judas mused over his relationship with Jesus. The first time he saw the young man on the streets, he'd never thought this beautiful man would look at him, smile at him, and let him in his heart. Based on the 2012 production.
Relationships: Jesus Christ/Judas Iscariot
Comments: 13
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Headcanon attributed to Anni from tumblr (https://judasisgayriot.tumblr.com/), who generously allowed me to write a fanfic based on it.

1.

It was 4am in the morning. Judas woke up to a tapping on the window, which soon became a pitter-patter. He rolled over in bed and got up as quietly as possible, with Jesus still lying asleep next to him. He walked over to the window and lit a cigarette. They lived in a pre-war apartment, where the steam pipes constantly clanking from inside its wall in winter, or even worse, just gave up working. However, he’d never felt coldness in this cramped room, all because of Jesus.

Judas exhaled, gazing back at Jesus who was still in bed. His lover, much like a feline, was curled up under the blanket with deep content, only leaving his frizzy head out. He seemed to be distracted by the tangled hair, as he sniffed and rolled, pressing his face deeper in the pillow.

Judas watched fondly. They met two years ago. It sounded like a cliché, but Judas had always believed in his whole life as an atheist, that the day he met Jesus was the closest moment that could be called as “ _destiny_ ”.

2\. 

He’d been living on the streets for three years when he turned twenty. Before seventeen, he was in one of those orphan homes and had spent seven years there. He didn’t remember much of his childhood, besides his father who was always drunk and abused his wife and son, leaving the poor woman in tears every day and night. He left the orphanage on the next day of his 17th birthday, trying to find a job but got rejected almost everywhere as he didn’t have any preferred “skills” they wanted. In the end, he had to live on the “job” which was one of those oldest ones in human history, yet despised since the day it came to the world. In the day he had little to do, just wandering in different neighborhoods or walked into a café occasionally and stayed there for an afternoon with the cheapest coffee. When the night came, he started “working”. It was actually a popular industry in this city, and a few areas were even called out in guidebooks as somewhere you can get “ _some fun_ ” with just five bucks. Judas never gave a shit about it, just like he didn’t care about how others look at him. There were men and women, first attracted by his look, those blonde dreadlocks, tattoos on muscular arms and seductive purple eye shadow, and then obsessed by the sensual touches and ruthless sex. Judas was able to rent a small apartment by the money from his “clients”, but he still preferred to wander on the street on his “off” days. After all, though he abhorred crowds, he enjoyed observing people with an almost unhealthy interest, just to mock at them.

He was taking a walk in a neighborhood near the church. The area was not unfamiliar to him, since he met with some of his clients here on certain nights. However this was the first time he came here in the day, under the bright and shining sun, he felt a bit dizzy by those glittering glasses.

Then Jesus came into his sight. The young man in a long black coat was standing on the steps of the church, with a megaphone in one hand, and delivering an oration to the surrounding crowds who were visibly fascinated by his words. Judas had never heard anyone speaking in such a passionate tone, so he walked a bit closer. He soon found out that the young man was protesting against a new policy that would benefit the rich.

“This is stupid,” Judas thought to himself, “and a waste of time.” He shrugged and started to walk away, when a hand grabbed him.

Jesus had walked across the crowds and was now beaming at him. Judas turned around to meet his dark eyes. “Sorry my friend, but I saw you were standing there for a while. If you are interested in our movement, I can share some more infor…”

“I’ve no interest.” Judas interrupted him abruptly, almost laughing viciously when he saw the shock look on the latter’s face. “And I can’t see any chance you will make it.”

The crowds burst out a loud boo-boo of disapproving. Someone recognized Judas, so the boos turned out to be sneer and laughter, shouting at him, telling him to go back to his lair for those “filthy business”. A man mocked at him frivolously, “My dear, it’s not even dark. Come back later when you get someone to sell your ass!”

Judas stared at him with a blank face, his fists, though, tightened in his jacket pocket. The blood in his veins pulsed with rage, tempting him to shut the man up with violence. Just at that moment, a warm hand was on his shoulder. Judas blinked, but Jesus seemed not affected by the harsh noise around them. He looked into Judas’ eyes calmly and asked, “Well then, can you let me know why?”

This was unexpected to Judas. He’d been struggling all by himself for too long that he’s got used to those cold eyes and words. Believing in “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth”, he’d always fight back with equally if not twice the detestation he met with. However, with this young man greeting him warmly and calling him friend, he felt lost and somewhat frightened, like a soldier lost his armor, thus couldn’t get the strength to fight again.

“He treats me as if I was an equal, not less than any man—“

The thought gave him a shudder, yet empowered him from inside as well. His fists loosened, and he managed to cool down and turned to Jesus. He talked to him, laying out what he agreed and what he thought was too radical or unrealistic. When bringing up his arguments, he was a bit hesitant, but Jesus listened thoughtfully and nodded at some of them, gaze fixing on him, which made him relieved. Judas couldn’t help finding his brooding dark eyes were so beautiful that he felt like there were a thousand butterflies flapping their wings in his stomach. 

Judas didn’t end up joining the protest that day, but he did get closer to Jesus, as he secretly wished. He would come to Jesus when the latter gave an oration, usually standing at the farthest edge of the crowd and would be rewarded with a smile or a wink if Jesus noticed him. When the oration ended, they would sit together and had a passionate debate about what Jesus just said, enjoying a great time of intellectual stimulation between each other. Jesus would always laugh with him at those funny jokes he threw out. The man now knew what he lived on, but didn’t say a word except for asking him to take precautions and protect himself. Judas had never felt ashamed of his “job”. He’d thought it merely a way to make money so he won’t starve to death. Sometimes it was a way to shout out those turbulent emotions in him, through semen’s and wild sex. No matter penetrating or penetrated, he’d never bother, or asked his client to wear a condom. However, when he saw the worried look on Jesus’ face, for the first time he regretted to choose this “job”. Jesus, who was bright as the sun, always enthusiastic and charismatic, treated him like a friend, could their encounter be completely different if he came from a decent family and had a normal job? He thought about it over and over, rolling in his stone-cold camp bed every night, and one day it came to him that he’d fallen in love with his friend.

3.

Judas thought their relationship would last forever like this. He was actually happy with being able to stay by Jesus’ side as a close friend. Yet a few months later, he received a ring from Annas late at night. Judas had dealt with Annas for a bit, when the latter joined the police force a couple of years ago and had to patrol the streets every night. Judas was caught a few times in the dark corners of parks and streets, before Annas grasped the core of this job and they reached a tactic understanding. Judas would avoid showing up in certain locations during certain times, while Annas simply let him go when he was busy with his client in other times. They’d been living in peace for quite a while, so Judas was slightly caught off guard when he heard Annas’ voice over the phone.

“Sorry if I disturbed your sleep, though I don’t think you already in bed huh?” Judas snorted at his mocking tone. “Your friend is in trouble. Come pick him up! ”

Judas rushed to the police office, grabbing only a jacket and the car key. It took him barely twenty minutes to the door of the office, and he didn’t even bother to lock his car. He followed Annas silently to a cell where there were about ten people in it, ignoring the smirk on the cop’s face. He saw Jesus once he was closer to the cell. His beloved friend, in his usual white shirt, sat in a corner of the room quietly with his head between curled thighs. His wavy hair seemed no longer vigorous, and now fell on his shoulder weakly. He was not surrounded by followers who were eager to hear his voice, but drunken men murmuring to themselves, homeless who were apparently drug-addicted, and gangsters with a dark look on their faces. Judas whispered Jesus’ name, and finally saw Jesus rose from his thighs. _Oh_ he was looking at Judas with those dark eyes misted, like a wounded little animal, like a boy scolded by his parents, which made Judas want to pull him into a hug.

“Unlawful assembly, plus destruction of public property.” Judas glared at Annas, whom just shrugged. “Don’t give me that look! It’s what your friend has done. Sign here, so he doesn’t need to be stuck in this shitty place tonight. Don’t forget to pay the fine in three days.” Judas signed quickly. Once Jesus was out from the dark room, He pulled his friend closer and examined him from head to toe carefully. He was relieved as Jesus seemed not hurt. “Let’s get home.” he started awkwardly, and rubbed his messy hair. Jesus nodded slightly, so he grabbed his hand and they left the building.

They didn’t talk at all on the way back. The air was quite thick in the car, which made Judas almost want to reach for a cigarette if he didn’t need to focus on the wheel. He glanced over Jesus, who was sitting next to him with a weary look on his face and leaned wobbly against the window.

Judas didn’t know where Jesus lived, and the young man seemed to have no interest in a conversation, so Judas had to take him to his own apartment. This is obviously not the first date he’d ever imagined. He thought wryly, when a very quiet and pliant Jesus sat on his bed without looking at him.

“So…everything should be okay now. You should get a good rest, or you wanna take a shower first?” He offered.

Jesus started abruptly, “It was not me.” his voice shaken, despite the stubbornness in his eyes. He pursed his lips, those lips that Judas had been secretly yearning to taste for so long. “I didn’t set the fire.” He looked at Judas, as if he was begging for him to believe.

“Yeah, yeah, I believe it’s not you.” Judas felt such a pain in his heart that he hurried to Jesus’ side and pulled an arm around his shoulder to soothe him. “Then who was it? Annas said someone set a fire on the west side of the plaza, and a guy passing by almost got killed…”

Jesus fell in silence. Before Judas almost gave up, he started. “It was…Simon.” Jesus whispered. “I told him not to do it, that we should not cause any harm, but he assured me that it would be okay, that he would make sure everyone was safe…” Jesus sobbed and buried his face in hands. Judas couldn’t find the word. He thought of Simon, the young man who seemed to never tire, always wearing hair gel more than necessary and bold eye lines, like a teenager who wanted to be in the center of a stage all the time. He’d suspected that Simon didn’t join Jesus because he truly cared about what Jesus said, but just to find a place to run his own show. He patted Jesus softly, and started with a slight hesitance. “I’ve always wanted to tell you, that you might not notice but your friends, your followers, all of them, they’d started to pay more attention to you, to those “glories” than your words, especially Simon. I’m worried it will happen again if…”

“I know! But they ARE my friends, and I’ve got no one else…!” He was interrupted by Jesus’ muffled cry. The latter now stared at him with red eyes, like a little rabbit. Jesus stared at him for a while, and then tugged his scarf to bury his face in his neck. “Shhh…it’s okay, I got it.” Judas pulled him closer and stroked his hair tenderly, as if he was comforting a little boy.

When Jesus calmed down a bit, he started to talk about his childhood and his family, which Judas had never heard any of them. Jesus came from a typical middle-class family, his father being a manager in a big corporate, mother a housewife since he was born. He also had a sister. However, the seemingly happy family had a dark secret that no one else knew or would ever believe. His father, who was possessive to a ridiculous extend, ruled the whole family like a dictator. Every family member, including his wife and children, had to obey whatever he said, even it was a shit, or they would be facing with endless s insults and swears which were not expected to come from such a man. His mother had been experiencing mental issues in her whole marriage life, and his sister, who’d endured these mental abuses for more than ten years, chose to flee the living hell on an afternoon when she was supposed to have her piano class. Jesus was in his 10th grade, studying in a boarding school. Two months later on a moonless night, he left the dorm without telling any of his roommates, and never went back.

After Jesus finished, both of them fell in silence. Judas didn’t know what to say, since “family” had been so faded out both in his life and his memory. What he did know was he didn’t like the sad look on Jesus’ face, so he made an awkward joke, “So you were one of those rich kids going to a private school, did you have to tuck your shirt in all the time? Oh but I remembered the first time I saw you, I thought you were some hippies doing bands or whatever!”

Jesus looked startled, but the next second he broke into a smile through tears. “Yeah…well Mr. Pilate was really strict about dress codes…but I was very rebellious after running away and thought I would do everything I was not allowed to do, so…” He smiled childishly, but then found it a bit silly and his face reddened. Judas, utterly loving his smile more than tears, couldn’t help but pulling him closer, cradling his face and wiped those wetness gently. He whispered sweet words to his ears, until Jesus relaxed and fell asleep in his arms.

tbc.


	2. Chapter 2

4.

Although this episode had revealed the traumatic past of Jesus, it did bring them closer. Judas was very happy about it, as now he joined Jesus in almost every protest and rally. Instead of standing at the edge of the further ring, he stood right next to Jesus, helping him organize the venues and cheering him up when he got frustrated. He also became close with Peter, Simon and Mary, as they would go for a drink or a game of pool usually after a protest.

They just held a peace demo successfully the other day. Everyone was thrilled and went to a bar nearby for an after party, except for Jesus, who was not feeling well and had to leave for a rest. Judas was drinking alone at the counter when Simon approached him with a glass in his hand. They chatted a little bit, until Simon blurted a question. “Are you two, you know, you and Jesus, dating?”

Judas nearly choked on his beer and almost spit it out. He took a small sip before calming down (or at least pretending to calm down). “Gosh Simon, what makes my personal life appealing to you all of a sudden?”

“You know, it’s not just me. Peter and Mary are eager to know as well. ” Simon shrugged. “We’ve never seen Jesus treated anyone differently like how he does to you. ” He winked at Judas. “It seems that you’ve become his favorite. ”

Judas felt his heart skipping a beat. “Oh…so you all think so?”

Simon gave him a suspicious look. “Aren’t you saying you are still ‘friends’? Come on, remember last time when we were on the streets asking people to sign a petition, and you talked with a girl who seemed to be interested (though I thought she might be more interested in your tattoo and dreadlocks)? Mary saw Jesus glancing at you two, like he was upset. You know it’s not very like what he would do right?”

Judas blinked, trying to dig into his memory about this girl but at a complete loss. He couldn’t care less about others when Jesus was around, and even if he talked to someone else it’s just because he knew it would help Jesus. However, his heart lit up with hope, simply by Simon’s words.

He excused himself after finishing up that drink as he couldn’t wait any longer. He went directly to Jesus’ apartment, partly because he still worried a bit about his condition, but more importantly, he want to confirm something that’s very, very important.

Jesus greeted him with a small surprise look on his face. He seemed to have refreshed from the tiredness. “Did you drink with Simon?” he must have smelled the scent of beer radiated from Judas. “Want some oranges?” He walked over to the kitchen and started to peel an orange. Judas’s eyes followed him. He gulped when those golden liquids dripped down from his slender wrist to forearm in a sensual way, suddenly finding himself thirsty.

“Thanks. Speaking of Simon, he actually asked me an interesting question” he glanced at Jesus quickly, voice almost shaking a bit. “He asked if we are…dating.”

“Oh,” Jesus seemed to be engrossed in his work and didn’t bother to look up. Judas could only see his beautiful jawline and short stubble, as his eyes were obscured by those curly locks. “I didn’t say anything,” Judas went on, his eyes never leaving Jesus, “because I also want an answer.”

Jesus was finally done with the tangerine, and turned around to face him. It’s been a while that Judas saw him not calm at all, but flustered and averting gaze back and forth, trying to avoid looking directly in his eyes. “So you are asking me?” Though his voice still steady, Judas could see his hands rubbing on the counter nervously. Judas smiled fondly, as he found the young man utterly adorable.

“Yes I am, but now I think I have my answer.” He looked into Jesus’ dark eyes. “You know, I’ve never been very religious, and sometimes I questioned if there was really a God. But now I think there is, a God, or whatever deity it is, who brought you into my life.” He raised Jesus’ hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on it. “The day we met, I saw all the lights that I’ve never seen in my whole life.” He paused, and said firmly. “I love you.”

For a minute or two, Jesus just stared at him, looking startled, which made Judas swallowed hard. However, his fear disappeared after he saw the sheepish smile and charming blush creeping onto Jesus’ cheeks. The young man tried to bury his burning face in his hands, but found they were held tightly by his friend who just confessed love to him. He ducked his head as if to hide from Judas’ hot gaze, but obviously couldn’t suppress the smile tugging at the corner of his lips. In the end he broke into a wholehearted smile. “I love you, too. I’ve been in love with you since the day you got me out from the police.”

Judas let out a deep sigh with relief. One second he was in Hell, and the next second he was in Heaven. His heart rejoiced and rushed so fast as if he just ran a half marathon. He couldn’t help but press Jesus against the counter, encircling his arms tightly around the latter’s waist. Jesus’ hands were on the back of Judas’ neck, pulling him into a soft and warm kiss. Judas, who apparently was seeking something beyond a kiss, tried to slide his tongue in his lover’s mouth and explore him thoroughly. In the meantime, one of his hand was on the back of Jesus’ wavy hair, while the other roaming on his waist, and sneaking in from his white shirt. He could feel Jesus’ warm flesh trembling under his hand, as if it was the first time he was touched in such a way.

Perhaps Judas was just so occupied with his work on Jesus. It was not until their bodies were pressed against each other that he realized something. He was already turned on, and almost painfully hard in his pants, but there was not even a bulge in Jesus’s lower body, even the latter wore a tight jeans.

Judas left Jesus’ lips hastily and stammered an apology. “S-Sorry if I was too fast…Fuck, if you don’t like it we can take it slow…”

However Jesus interrupted him, pressed a finger softly against his lips. “No, no, Judas. There is something I want to tell you first. ” He paused, “I’m, well, I’m asexual.”

“Oh,” Judas stopped, and didn’t know what to say. “Oh I see.” He glimpsed his swelling (and still hardened) manhood and felt weary all of a sudden. “Well, at least I didn’t make you disinterested-”

Jesus looked at him calmly, like he’d expected it. “I should be the one to say sorry.” He whispered, pulling away from Judas’ neck and put his hands awkwardly by his side. “Now you know why I didn’t dare to tell you my love first?” He let out a wry laugh, “If you want, I can use my hands or mouth to-”

He looked at Judas pleadingly, and Judas could see sadness and bitterness from those beautiful dark eyes. He was pulled back in his lover’s arms and held tightly. Judas murmured in his ear. “Hey I didn’t say anything yet.” He paused a bit as if he was trying to find the right word. “I mean this is a bit…unexpected, but you see, I was not saying I love you only to get you in bed, well, at least not _just_ for that.” Realizing he was just jabbering, he pulled back a little to look Jesus in the eyes. “What I’m trying to say is, I love you, and you love me too. That’s everything I need to know. Anything else we can always figure it out.” Now it was his turn to look at Jesus with plead. “I won’t force anything on you, so please don’t leave me or give me up just for this reason, okay?”

Jesus met his gaze. After quite a while he broke into a broad smile with tears, and nodded. 

5.

Since then, a year has passed. Like any couple, they had rough patches and hiccups once in a while, but they always got over them fast. Sometimes it was Judas cooking special pastas for his boyfriend (which was Jesus’ favorite), and sometimes it was Jesus making cranberry breakfast cake for Judas (whom actually had a sweet tooth but would never admit it). Most times, it was just a hug with unspoken apologies, a soft kiss placed on the forehead, or one of the couple stretching out lazily on the couch while the other man cuddling in his arms. Both of them had suffered a lot from their past, so they cherished this relationship more than anything else. They loved each other, and they promised to never leave the other, no matter what happened.

Another day, Judas came home at midnight from his job to find Jesus, instead of going to bed two hours earlier, was waiting for him at the dining table. Judas quit his previous “job” not long after he met Jesus, and found a new one as a bartender. He had to work late night for five days a week, so on those days Jesus always went to bed first and left a light on for him. However, the dark-haired young man was sitting at the table now and looking a bit nervous, as if he had some big announcement.

Judas leaned to give Jesus a quick peck on his lips while taking off his jacket. Jesus cleared his throat and started. “Well, Judas I have a news.” He looked at Judas, whom was looking back encouragingly. “I found my sister. Umm, or you can say she found me.”

“Oh!” Judas was a bit surprised, but definitely felt happy for Jesus. He knew Jesus missed his sister and mother a lot as Judas recalled the brooding expressions in his eyes when they met Mary’s family, though most of the time Jesus just didn’t touch the topic. He’d never contacted his mother and sister after fleeing home. It seemed Simon uploaded a video of their recent protest online and Jesus’ sister came across it the other day. Finally, the siblings were able to reconnect after all these years.

“You know I haven’t heard from her for years, after she left home…” Judas couldn’t miss the happiness in Jesus’ tone. “She lives in New Orleans now, with her family. I’ve never been there, but I heard great things, like the weather is nice and they have sunshine all year round. And, umm, everyone loves music there. They said lots of the best artists in this country had moved there…” He looked up and met Judas’ eyes. “She invited me to visit her, and her husband and kids. Do you want to go with me? ”

“Oh, oh, yes.” Judas stammered. This was the first time Jesus invited him to visit his family, as his love and his partner. He could see the seriousness in Jesus’ dark eyes. “Yes, I would very much love to.” He pulled Jesus in a hug and leaned to find his lips. He felt Jesus quivering beneath him from excitement and tugging at his shirt, their hearts beating to the same pace.

It was a wonderful trip, which led to a second, and third time revisit. A few months later they decided to move there. Judas found a new job, still as a bartender, but with a bonus that he could play the piano at the bar on some nights. The owner of the bar was looking for a new pianist who could play some “nice shit”. Judas had learned to play from a priest when he was in that orphan home back then, and though he was highly talented, he didn’t get to touch the instrument again in all those years. Jesus was really happy to see his lover’s fingers moving fast on the keyboard and that genuine smile on his face.

The next year Judas proposed to Jesus. The couple could feel their partner’s hand shaking when they exchanged rings. It was as if they finally found the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle, and everything was perfect now.

6.

It was five to six in the morning. Judas stubbed out the cigarette, and walked over to the kitchen. He was going to brew coffee for both of them and then make some fresh beignets, which had become Jesus’ favorite for breakfast over the last few months. From a distance, the Sun started to bloom on the horizon and the sky was turning from blue to a radiant gold, as the world was about to wake up, while _his_ world was slumbering peacefully behind him, waiting for a gentle morning kiss from his beloved.

Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made them move to New Orleans because a) I love the city! b) Ben Forster mentioned his experience in one of his interviews (https://www.thestage.co.uk/features/ben-forster-im-the-real-life-billy-elliot) and I thought it would be nice to make it happen at least in AU.


End file.
